After every flight, FEDEX pilots
fill out a form, known
as a
"gripe sheet’ to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement.
S: Left inside main tire almost replaced.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF Inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed in cockpit.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a
midget
pounding on
something with
a
hammer.
S: Took hammer away from
midget.