Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I
get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem
None – It’s a hardware problem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of
meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him
by 24 grams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the
ingenuity to work with the science.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the
air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you
see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your
health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t
worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast;
it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to
chance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually,
the programmer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~