Epic response to rejection letter

Dear Rejector,

Thank you for your letter of rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.

This year, I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of firms, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately.

I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,